Planning a wedding often means dealing with a seemingly endless list of over-the-top choices, from the shape of the ice sculpture to whether or not your school friend’s plus-one deserves a spot on the guest list. But you need to save some energy  and channel it into the one choice that may count the most: where to go on your honeymoon. While you go about looking for the right wedding planner to fix all those details of your big day, don’t neglect the most important trip of your life. Yes, I’m talking about the honeymoon. The most special trip for any couple, simply because it’s about just the two of you.

But. Help: your honeymoon options have exploded. Cancun, Maui, Belize, Australia, Dublin—the possibilities are staggering. Which is actually sort of a problem. When you have so many destinations from which to choose, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the open-endedness of it all. All too often, the groom defaults to a shortlist of “safe” choices (The Bahamas, Paris, Bali), failing to seriously consider the other 1,000+ destination.

So, how do you decide where to go on your honeymoon? Choosing your honeymoon destination is not an overnight decision for sure. But if the task is sucking up all your energy, take a look at these useful tips that will help you in on the perfect honeymoon destination for you and hubby-to-be. But before you start looking at  photos of rose-petal-strewn bedspreads and steamy couples massages, take time to consider exactly how you imagine your early days of newlywed bliss. Are you looking for an urban escape with plenty of romantic sites and quaint coffee shops? Do you prefer an active getaway packed with outdoor adventures? Or does your dream vacation include expansive beaches and plenty of sunbathing?

So here’s what I recommend. Instead of narrowing down the specific choices, think more generally–without a destination in mind – about the types of things you want to do. Think activities, not locations. Think categories, not countries.  Make a big wish-list, and then, after you have your Dream Destination, see what correlates to that in the real world. Narrow down the stuff that’s important to you, and consider the features you desire. Do you see yourself sprawled on the beach by day, then savoring a quiet romantic dinner at night? Would the two of you enjoy the hustle and bustle of a city vacation? Do you want golf courses, nightlife, and sightseeing all in one place? Do you want nightlife, or something more quiet and romantic? Is outdoor-adventure stuff important? (i.e. skydiving, kayaking)… and on and on and on.

Pretend, for a moment, that you’re literally creating your own imaginary island. And then, once you and your fiancée agree upon the key characteristics, you convert the theoretical into the practical.